A Prologue
Although it seems my entire life has been full of hardships and heartache, it has been the last year that has challenged me in too many ways to understand. The Universe has tested my strength in ways that feel cruel and underserving. My grandfather was diagnosed with dementia, my alcoholic stepmother was diagnosed with cancer, and I had found myself trapped in an extremely emotionally and psychologically abusive marriage. Dealing with the failure of my relationship and the aftermath of the abuse, tested my ability to find the girl I had unknowingly lost. I needed her strength to concur the new monster of forging a new path, but just when I felt that I could reach deep down in my soul and pull her back to the surface, I lost my best friend to a drug overdose. It had happened in my house while I was away on a work trip and I came home to find that my life had again been turned upside down. I became a prisoner of my own grief. I had been living on the verge of a complete meltdown for what seemed like months, but it had finally happened. My withdrawal from reality and sense of overwhelming sadness forced me to take a leave of absence from work - the only thing I felt I had left to give my life purpose. Each layer of me felt like it had been slowly peeled away and dangled in front of me, just out of reach. My soul had been shattered and I couldn't find all of the pieces necessary to put it back together. I felt there was no way I could ever be whole again. It was only through the love of my family and friends, and my faith in the Universe, that made me question what the world was preparing me for. Maybe it was something bigger than I could understand, but I needed to try. So I forced myself to get out of bed, open the blinds and face the days ahead. I started my path of healing and this blog is another stepping stone on that path, and a way for me to express myself unapologetically, in the form of short stories and poems, while working through the kinks of this crazy thing called my life.
- JSG
Enjoyed reading this & seeing you condense all these hardships/experiences in one place.
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy your writing, even the hard stuff, like this.
Auntie
Stay beautiful
DeleteLife is weird.. in same boat. Hold on.. that big thing that you have been prepared for... is happening...your writing is helping me get in touch with my emotions and inspiring my creative artistic talents to express what I am feeling.. thank you for this. So glad I stumbled across. Continue to heal others with your writing. And I’m going to do the same. With my writing and art. All those of us who have been hurt so deeply, as tough as it is, We each will share and express passing on that archer, which are our words, art, expression to keep moving the best way we know how and help others do the same. I’m moving with you and beside. Com’on.
ReplyDeleteLove you! 💜 Cass
Write. Create. Hurt. Heel. Inspire. I am with you.
DeleteI’m so glad I’ve stumbled onto your blog... Not only do I have immense compassion for the darker side of life you so eloquently share, I find your writing to be honest, beautiful and strong. A search for Sally Howe brought me here... your rich descriptions, authenticity, and ladybugs kept me here. I have much gratitude for your vulnerability and courage to put this out into the universe. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteIt's comments like this, and knowing people like you read my blog that keeps me writing and keeps me sharing. The dark parts of ourselves and the hurt we hold inside are the hardest things to face, and writing has helped me find a way to heal. But it's also knowing that there are people out there listening to my story and relating to my stories in a way that helps them heal as well that make this journey bearable. Thank you for listening, it means more than any of my words can express.
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